Why genuine happiness isn’t a hashtag but a way of life—and a journey that takes effort.
Happiness isn’t luck. It isn’t a destination but a way of life—a choice that demands action, honesty, and emotional responsibility. This idea connects two seemingly unrelated figures: the legendary songwriter Neil Young, who in his song Heart of Gold searches for a heart of gold, and the pioneering psychotherapist Albert Ellis, who reminds us that our mental state lies in our own hands. One through his music and the other through his theory, they show us that life offers no easy fixes, but for those who persist, it holds moments of true fulfillment.
Heart of gold: The miner of the soul
“I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold”. With this line, Young isn’t just singing about love—he’s voicing an existential longing. He searches for something authentic, rare, and precious—a heart that isn’t afraid to love, to feel, to live.
The image of the miner is essential: anyone who digs deep cannot escape hardship, loneliness, and disappointment. Young crosses oceans, arrives in Hollywood, wanders through the Redwood forests, and delves into the depths of his own mind—because what’s truly valuable is never found on the surface.
Every lyric in Heart of Gold underscores a simple truth: life isn’t for settling—it’s for the pursuit. Every step he takes reminds us that anything worthwhile demands effort.
Ellis: The logic of happiness
Ellis warns us that we are not simply victims of circumstances—we are responsible for how we feel and how we respond. He delivers a tough but freeing truth: people suffer not because they experience hardship, but because they believe they shouldn’t have to suffer.
Dr. Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), shows how people often sabotage their own happiness by holding onto irrational beliefs: “I must be perfect,” “Others must always understand me,” “Life must be easy.”
As Neil Young expresses through his music, nothing truly meaningful comes without effort. Life doesn’t follow guaranteed paths. Those who wait for perfection simply fade away.
Albert Ellis calls us to accept reality without illusions, acknowledging that life isn’t always fair or easy. But acceptance alone isn’t enough, nor is simply changing our mindset. Genuine change toward authentic happiness requires repeated, intentional shifts in behavior. For happiness to be real, it must be backed by action, action, action.
Ellis puts it plainly: “The goal of life is to have a ball”—to live fully, not just survive. To enjoy life not superficially, but through meaningful moments, deep connections, and a true journey.
The common message: The search as a choice
“Keep me searching for a heart of gold, and I’m getting old.” Neil Young acknowledges the exhaustion of a search that never ends. Yet, this weariness is not weakness—it is hope. It proves that life is worth living, not because it is easy, but because it is real.
Albert Ellis would agree. For him, happiness is not the absence of pain, but the ability to find meaning in our struggles. Waiting for ideal conditions or external solutions keeps us stuck in stagnation. In contrast, emotional responsibility means taking our problems into our own hands, stopping the search for excuses, and living with courage.
Ellis’s theory of rational living is summarized—among other ideas—in three key principles that foster a deeper sense of fulfillment. First, engaging in something we love, an activity that captivates and enriches us. Second, forming meaningful connections with others, relationships built on honesty and mutual support. And third, embracing reality with clear-eyed acceptance, free of illusions and unrealistic expectations.
Strikingly, these same values echo through Heart of Gold. The song’s protagonist refuses to settle, rejects superficiality, and insists on seeking something real—even if he never finds it. Because the act of searching itself is Cavafy’s Ithaca, where the journey, not the arrival, holds the true meaning.
Happiness is not an event
We live in an era that promises instant happiness—a sought-after product in the 21st-century psychobazaar. It is sold in “10 steps,” curated through perfectly filtered images, trapped in a quote with thousands of Instagram likes, and reduced to a bit of positive thinking. A happiness designed to look good, but not to be real.
And yet, even if spiritual balance or genuine connection with the self feels rare in our time—as Aldous Huxley once wrote—it remains within reach for those who pursue it with awareness and honesty. It isn’t easy; it’s a path that calls for depth and strength, not surface appearances.
Neil Young, through his music. Albert Ellis, through his theory. Two people from two different worlds—yet in the end, they tell us the same thing: happiness is not a fleeting pleasure, and life cannot be contained within a screen. It is not something handed to us or something that simply “happens”—it is something we build through action, courage, and authenticity. It is not a well-staged smile; it is genuine emotion.
Neil Young sings about the search for truth—the kind that needs no filters. Albert Ellis teaches that happiness is not a fleeting pleasure but a conscious choice—to live as you are, not as you appear. This approach to life finds an unexpected ally in the anarchic realism of Charles Bukowski, who had the phrase “Don’t Try” engraved on his tombstone. Not as a resignation, but as a reminder: don’t force yourself to be something else—live authentically, write, love, fight, not because you “must,” but because you simply can’t do otherwise. Ultimately, this “Don’t Try” is a call for the most honest effort of all: living without pretense.
Seek hearts of gold, not fleeting moments of gilded bronze.
Food for thought
Perhaps we are all searching, each in our own way, for a heart of gold—something truly worthwhile, enduring, and real. Some find it in a relationship, others in a passion, and some deep within themselves. One thing is certain: it does not simply appear—you build it, you fight for it, and sometimes, you just learn to endure its absence without ceasing to seek it.
Because, in the end, as Young says, “keep me searching”—and that is what keeps us alive.
Palikrousis L. Thomas, Psychologist, MSc, PhD(c)
