Alexander, the Great: The Protector of Men What can a mere mortal write about an immortal?
What could I possibly say for Alexander the Great, Protector of Men, Breaker of chains, Leader of the Hellenes, Explorer of the world, Founder of cities, Philosopher at heart, General of generals, Warrior of warriors, the god-birthed and King of the Eternal Realm?
Maybe, if the muses allowed for it, I could write a few words, by the sacred right of ancestry and the earned right of conquest; for I am a warrior myself and this gives me the right to talk about warriors. By the right of my pledge of eternal service, as I would follow him until the far reaches of this world, for he is my kin and he is my King. My father’s name was Alexander and my son’s name will be Alexander; in the grim darkness of this universe, my pledge would be eternal service to that god-emperor of Man. And since I sense the muses caressing my ears with their melodious song, allow me to take a shot at my Opus Magnum so far: the Epic Odyssey of Alexander the Great.
Let’s start with a little story: Imagine you are the god-emperor of the greatest empire that has ever existed; your wealth is unimaginable, your will is unquestionable, your realm is unconquerable and you rule over vast amounts of land, from the southern ocean to the Caspian sea, from Egypt to Bactria, from the mountains of Hindu-Kush in India all the way to the lands of those damned maniacs, the Greeks; you even rule over their cities in Asia Minor and some of them are in your payroll. They are all your subjects! You’re the man, the top G, the dawg; damn, even your nickname shows how badass you are: Darius III, the CodoMANnus (“war-minded”). And yeah, ok, sh*t happens.. a Greek boy with his bunch of maniacs beat your satraps in a silly battle; you were not prepared enough. And you know what? Even the second battle wasn’t fair because some sand got in your eyes and you took an arrow in the knee; and now the Greek dude has your wife (because you forgot to take her while running for your life), your kids and all your sh*t (your royal pajamas and half the country). But you are a merciful god-emperor and you really want to squash the beef and forgive that pompous 20-year-old Greek pr*ck; heck, he can even keep the lands he conquered as long as he returns your family and act nice in the future. You send him a letter, like the gentleman you are, and tell him to acknowledge you as a fellow king; and this is what he responds:
Original source text: “Your ancestors invaded Macedonia and the rest of Greece and did us harm although we had not done you any previous injury. I have been appointed Leader of the Greeks and it is with the aim of punishing the Persians that I have crossed into Asia, since you are the aggressors. You gave support to the people of Perinthus, who had done my father harm, and Ochus sent a force to Thrace, which was under our rule. My father died at the hand of conspirators instigated by you, as you yourself boasted to everybody in your letters, you killed Arsesnote with the help of Bagoas and gained your throne through unjust means, in defiance of Persian custom and doing wrong to the Persians. You sent unfriendly letters to the Greeks about me, to push them to war against me, and sent money to the Spartans and some other Greeks, which none of the other cities would accept, apart from the Spartans. Your envoys corrupted my friends and sought to destroy the peace which I established among the Greeks. I therefore led an expedition against you, since you started the quarrel. But now I have defeated in battle first your generals and satraps, and now you in person and your army, and by the grace of the gods I control the country. All those who fought on your side and did not die in battle but came over to me, I hold myself responsible for them; they are not on my side under duress but are taking part in the expedition of their own free will. Approach me therefore as the lord of all Asia. If you are afraid of suffering harm at my hands by coming in person, send some of your friends to receive proper assurances. Come to me to ask and receive your mother, your wife, your children and anything else you wish. Whatever you can persuade me to give shall be yours. In future whenever you communicate with me, address me as king of Asia; do not write to me as an equal, but state your demands to the master of all your possessions. If not, I shall deal with you as a wrongdoer. If you wish to lay claim to the title of king, then stand your ground and fight for it; do not take to flight, as I shall pursue you wherever you may be.”
Let’s start with a little story: Imagine you are the god-emperor of the greatest empire that has ever existed; your wealth is unimaginable, your will is unquestionable, your realm is unconquerable and you rule over vast amounts of land, from the southern ocean to the Caspian sea, from Egypt to Bactria, from the mountains of Hindu-Kush in India all the way to the lands of those damned maniacs, the Greeks; you even rule over their cities in Asia Minor and some of them are in your payroll. They are all your subjects! You’re the man, the top G, the dawg; damn, even your nickname shows how badass you are: Darius III, the CodoMANnus (“war-minded”). And yeah, ok, sh*t happens.. a Greek boy with his bunch of maniacs beat your satraps in a silly battle; you were not prepared enough. And you know what? Even the second battle wasn’t fair because some sand got in your eyes and you took an arrow in the knee; and now the Greek dude has your wife (because you forgot to take her while running for your life), your kids and all your sh*t (your royal pajamas and half the country). But you are a merciful god-emperor and you really want to squash the beef and forgive that pompous 20-year-old Greek pr*ck; heck, he can even keep the lands he conquered as long as he returns your family and act nice in the future. You send him a letter, like the gentleman you are, and tell him to acknowledge you as a fellow king; and this is what he responds:
Original source text: “Your ancestors invaded Macedonia and the rest of Greece and did us harm although we had not done you any previous injury. I have been appointed Leader of the Greeks and it is with the aim of punishing the Persians that I have crossed into Asia, since you are the aggressors. You gave support to the people of Perinthus, who had done my father harm, and Ochus sent a force to Thrace, which was under our rule. My father died at the hand of conspirators instigated by you, as you yourself boasted to everybody in your letters, you killed Arsesnote with the help of Bagoas and gained your throne through unjust means, in defiance of Persian custom and doing wrong to the Persians. You sent unfriendly letters to the Greeks about me, to push them to war against me, and sent money to the Spartans and some other Greeks, which none of the other cities would accept, apart from the Spartans. Your envoys corrupted my friends and sought to destroy the peace which I established among the Greeks. I therefore led an expedition against you, since you started the quarrel. But now I have defeated in battle first your generals and satraps, and now you in person and your army, and by the grace of the gods I control the country. All those who fought on your side and did not die in battle but came over to me, I hold myself responsible for them; they are not on my side under duress but are taking part in the expedition of their own free will. Approach me therefore as the lord of all Asia. If you are afraid of suffering harm at my hands by coming in person, send some of your friends to receive proper assurances. Come to me to ask and receive your mother, your wife, your children and anything else you wish. Whatever you can persuade me to give shall be yours. In future whenever you communicate with me, address me as king of Asia; do not write to me as an equal, but state your demands to the master of all your possessions. If not, I shall deal with you as a wrongdoer. If you wish to lay claim to the title of king, then stand your ground and fight for it; do not take to flight, as I shall pursue you wherever you may be.”
This probably gives you a glimpse into the mind of the absolute Stud, called Alexander, III, son of Phillip, II, king of Macedonia and leader of the Greeks – a title no one had ever truly held up until that point. And if you know anything about the Greek maniacs, or if you have read any previous pieces on them (Xenophon’s Anabasis, Pyrrhus, Spartans), you would know that they are a small and very dysfunctional family; they are brothers but love to kill each other for sport; they acknowledge only brothers among them – no father (no unquestionable authority) – cause they are an unruly bunch of glorious basterds and madmen. I mean, these dogs of war realized that if you’re Greek enough (which probably means you love to kill other Greeks), you are invited in Olympia every 4 years to do sports together with the bros and celebrate the Gods, taking a break from killing each other (the Olympic games are still around btw). Can you imagine massacring each other for years but then you meet in Olympia for the Games and all is cool and nice? That’s the level of madness we are discussing here. So, for a dude like our Alex to be proclaimed as Leader of the Greeks for the campaign against the Persians, it was a VERY BIG DEAL and unique for the history of Greece. But of course, Alexander was a product of his time and a son of Hellas; strong and brave as he was, he had his own demons to fight in his head along with his fellow Greeks breaking his balls all the way to India and back (I really don’t know which one is worse). You will find (too many) pieces online with all sorts of analysis about his life (with a spectrum spanning from utter BS to borderline legitimate – since many mids want to take a shot at his legacy) so my goal is not to reproduce all that; I will go for something different. I want to really explore his psyche and mind, embarking with you on a journey of conquest, exploration and reflection; I want to reanimate Alexander’s personal Odyssey as he teared the world apart searching for a “Home”.
Before we go on let’s get over with the disclaimers; this is going to be a VERY long one. We are talking about the Odyssey (pun intended) of one of the greatest men that has ever existed. So, make sure you’re comfortable: grab a beer, pour in some good scotch (or bourbon – I just got McConaughey’s Wild Turkey Longbranch), grab the snacks, light up your cigar, do your burpees and generally make sure you have time. My sources will be Arian (and his works: “Alexander’s Anabasis” and “India” and Plutarch with his “Parallel Lives” of Alexander vs Ceasar); the first focuses on the military aspects and the latter on the personal ones, which will give us golden material to work with here. I am not here to write history but tell you the story of a man. To optimize your reading experience, I will be breaking this down in segments, outlining the effect other people had on him and how he changed their world forever; I suggest to treat this almost like a small book: bookmark it and read it in parts. Buckle up, as we explore the world Alexander, protector of men (that’s literally what his name means in Greek btw) created, breaking away from the “standard” Greek norm of killing each other and calling everybody you don’t like barbarian (based), trying to create an Eternal Realm of Virtue and Honor whose ghost echoes in eternity.
Part 2 to continue
